Took a break from posting as I needed to recenter. It's been a hot minute thanks to life and generally having my shelf finally shatter from all the falsity being piled on it. I walked away from the church the day I was told it was better to be homeless than to move in with my fiance and his mother.
That was the day I decided fuck this, I'm living my life. But that's not good for the church. It's very very bad as any member who leaves is not only cash lost, but someone who has insider info that can make the church look bad.
So now they are stalking me.... Lovely.
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Friday, December 15, 2017
Friday, January 29, 2016
She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-fray/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288.html
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
What we really should be doing in prisons
What we really should be doing in prisons
I've posted it before but we really need to close for profit prisons and make them real rehabilitation centers. Teach criminals practical skills instead of letting private corps make money off of modern slavery.
I've posted it before but we really need to close for profit prisons and make them real rehabilitation centers. Teach criminals practical skills instead of letting private corps make money off of modern slavery.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
GRR!!!!
I do see a problem with special interest groups. The ones that I see to be a problem are mostly those who seek the shove religion down the throats of the American populous under the guise of freedom and tax concerns. An example of this would be the ruling for Hobby Lobby. To me, it wasn't about the company having a religious view point, or In-n-Out Burgers would have been in the law suit as well given they are owned by deeply religious people as well.
This can cause a problem because it begins to blur the line that is suppose to be finite between church and state. There seems to be this belief that the US was founded on Christian ideals when it wasn't and that is expressly stated that church and state shall be separate. Once special interest groups are made, they can reek havoc on rulings and the political field for years to come. Hobby Lobby's suit caused part of the ACA to be rewritten so that even if employers won't pay for there is an insurance that will and employers can't stop employees from using it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/10/white-house-birth-control_n_7771004.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/magazine/what-the-hobby-lobby-ruling-means-for-america.html?_r=0
http://www.streetlaw.org/en/landmark/cases/roe_v_wade
http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=12334123945835207673&q=Roe+v.+Wade,+410+U.S.+113+(1973&hl=en&as_sdt=2006&as_vis=1
This can cause a problem because it begins to blur the line that is suppose to be finite between church and state. There seems to be this belief that the US was founded on Christian ideals when it wasn't and that is expressly stated that church and state shall be separate. Once special interest groups are made, they can reek havoc on rulings and the political field for years to come. Hobby Lobby's suit caused part of the ACA to be rewritten so that even if employers won't pay for there is an insurance that will and employers can't stop employees from using it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/10/white-house-birth-control_n_7771004.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/magazine/what-the-hobby-lobby-ruling-means-for-america.html?_r=0
http://www.streetlaw.org/en/landmark/cases/roe_v_wade
http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=12334123945835207673&q=Roe+v.+Wade,+410+U.S.+113+(1973&hl=en&as_sdt=2006&as_vis=1
I am getting too old for this
My job is really trying. I work with autistic kiddos and help them learn how to interact with the world in a way we deem acceptable. Such as asking for things and understanding that they can't scream and throw a fit when they are told no.
This is a trying thing to do as many of these kiddos don't grasp that they can still be told no, even if they ask nicely. They don't get that the person still has the right to say no. For them they only understand that saying please gets their way and when it doesn't, the world doesn't quite make sense.
I can handle my job. I can handle these kiddos. What I can't handle is a company that is not on the ball when it comes to assigning cases. I have been out of work for nearly three weeks now. My last client pulled services because of HQ's behavior in the middle of July. I was promised a new client by the time the second pay period began. That pay period has come and gone. In that space they tried to force a client that would cause me to have to drive over 300 miles a week for less than 12 hours a week worth of work. I stood my ground and drew the line. Then with out notification, I had two clients dropped on me in my area that I can make easily and they total 12 hours a week for pay. I technically make more on Unemployment than I would be making for this company. I find it highly suspect that these clients magically get assigned to me when just last Friday they swore they didn't have any clients in town and yet there are job postings of a need for more people in my town to do the job I'm doing from the exact same company.
This bugs me because it shows a lack of professionalism. If there aren't clients in the town you are hiring from, don't post the job like there is work in the town. Make it clear that people will driving upwards of 100 miles a week for pay that's less than most people get while working at McDonald's. The part that freaks me out the most is that I was part of a hiring pool of 13 people in April and there are only 2 of us left. That means that this company has fired or forced 11 people to quit in less than 6 months. That is a turn over rate that my mind just can't calculate. It makes me wonder just how well this company has been put together and how in the bloody hell it's survived this long.
This is a trying thing to do as many of these kiddos don't grasp that they can still be told no, even if they ask nicely. They don't get that the person still has the right to say no. For them they only understand that saying please gets their way and when it doesn't, the world doesn't quite make sense.
I can handle my job. I can handle these kiddos. What I can't handle is a company that is not on the ball when it comes to assigning cases. I have been out of work for nearly three weeks now. My last client pulled services because of HQ's behavior in the middle of July. I was promised a new client by the time the second pay period began. That pay period has come and gone. In that space they tried to force a client that would cause me to have to drive over 300 miles a week for less than 12 hours a week worth of work. I stood my ground and drew the line. Then with out notification, I had two clients dropped on me in my area that I can make easily and they total 12 hours a week for pay. I technically make more on Unemployment than I would be making for this company. I find it highly suspect that these clients magically get assigned to me when just last Friday they swore they didn't have any clients in town and yet there are job postings of a need for more people in my town to do the job I'm doing from the exact same company.
This bugs me because it shows a lack of professionalism. If there aren't clients in the town you are hiring from, don't post the job like there is work in the town. Make it clear that people will driving upwards of 100 miles a week for pay that's less than most people get while working at McDonald's. The part that freaks me out the most is that I was part of a hiring pool of 13 people in April and there are only 2 of us left. That means that this company has fired or forced 11 people to quit in less than 6 months. That is a turn over rate that my mind just can't calculate. It makes me wonder just how well this company has been put together and how in the bloody hell it's survived this long.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
The truth
I am a depressed person and I am sick of fucking always hearing that I just need therapy or to be fucking happy or reminded that I am in a mood. No one wants to help for real. The only help ever offered is to pass me onto a doctor or to ask a doctor to stuff me with meds.
No one wants to help not really. Not even those who say they love me. It's about doing the bare minimum needed in order to alleviate guilt.
I sit here struggling just to survive while I watch all my friends swim in success... I spend hours looking for a new job that will pay a livable salary and yet I have friends who have jobs and cushy living situations just fall into their laps.
My health is spiraling downward while everyone else seems to be getting all they want with so very little effort. Someone I call a friend has a cushy job they do not appreciate.
The lack of appreciation for what they have is what bothers me the most. The constant complaining of how they are still lacking in some way while simultaneously posting about how they are out and about doing things like getting tattoos and going to concerts and such.
I always make an attempt to thankful for what I have, even though my anxiety tells me it's not enough to keep me going. I think that's where the anger comes from, the blatant disregard for what they already have. The same friend who got the windfall, had a nearly brand new car paid off free and clear and she still went out and bought a 20k truck because her new fuck toy wanted to have a truck for them to go have fun in. Now she complains that she wants to get a new stereo in both cars, a new alarm, AND Bluetooth for both cars.
Bottom line is I wish she would just step back and be happy with what she has. She has a house, a car, a dog, a life, and her bills are guaranteed to be paid for god knows how long. I just wish people who can't be thankful could live where things are actually shitty.
The lack of appreciation for what they have is what bothers me the most. The constant complaining of how they are still lacking in some way while simultaneously posting about how they are out and about doing things like getting tattoos and going to concerts and such.
I always make an attempt to thankful for what I have, even though my anxiety tells me it's not enough to keep me going. I think that's where the anger comes from, the blatant disregard for what they already have. The same friend who got the windfall, had a nearly brand new car paid off free and clear and she still went out and bought a 20k truck because her new fuck toy wanted to have a truck for them to go have fun in. Now she complains that she wants to get a new stereo in both cars, a new alarm, AND Bluetooth for both cars.
Bottom line is I wish she would just step back and be happy with what she has. She has a house, a car, a dog, a life, and her bills are guaranteed to be paid for god knows how long. I just wish people who can't be thankful could live where things are actually shitty.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
Thursday, March 6, 2014
My newest beef with any form of modern Christianity
This is my newest beef with America's modern Christianity. The "Christian" Right's lunacy no longer has any bounds. After reading each of these articles, I have been pushed further away from organized religion of any kind.
Responsibility falls disproportionately to women, who are taught to protect their “purity” and to never “tempt” their brothers in Christ to “stumble” with immodest behavior. “The lack of men’s responsibility or culpability for their own actions and the acceptance of male ‘urges’ as irresistible forces of nature is the understructure of Christian modesty movements and their secular counterpart. ~ Taken from one of the articles.
Putting all responsibility on women over sexual assault has rapidly become a tenant of modern christianity. Placing the blame on women causes men to think they are free to do what ever they choose. Women are not lesser then men, they not not born just to be mothers and be the subservient "helpmeet" of their husbands. Women are not suppose to let their husbands have sex whenever they desire, nor are they suppose to continuously be pregnant. Women are not broodmares put on this earth for the enjoyment of men.
Responsibility falls disproportionately to women, who are taught to protect their “purity” and to never “tempt” their brothers in Christ to “stumble” with immodest behavior. “The lack of men’s responsibility or culpability for their own actions and the acceptance of male ‘urges’ as irresistible forces of nature is the understructure of Christian modesty movements and their secular counterpart. ~ Taken from one of the articles.
Putting all responsibility on women over sexual assault has rapidly become a tenant of modern christianity. Placing the blame on women causes men to think they are free to do what ever they choose. Women are not lesser then men, they not not born just to be mothers and be the subservient "helpmeet" of their husbands. Women are not suppose to let their husbands have sex whenever they desire, nor are they suppose to continuously be pregnant. Women are not broodmares put on this earth for the enjoyment of men.
Women are humans, they have rights, thoughts, desires, and dreams. If a man thinks like this, he needs to be removed from the gene pool, period.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Rant time
If someone is stupid enough to think that vaccines cause autism or any other disability, they do not deserve to reproduce. Thanks to their ignorance and moronic behavior under the guise of "religion" children are going to get sick and die from preventable diseases.
http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vqjb0
Learn something before you post. Don't be a fucking moron
http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vqjb0
Learn something before you post. Don't be a fucking moron
Monday, June 24, 2013
Rant Time
So how is that a college graduate with a decent GPA and awesome letters of recommendations can't get a job?!
Particularly when the posting says very few people have applied for said position. Most of these companies cannot even give people the courtesy of sending a letter saying that someone else was chosen.
People end up wondering what it was they did wrong or what was wrong with their resume.
What ever happened to courtesy in the job hunting world!?
Particularly when the posting says very few people have applied for said position. Most of these companies cannot even give people the courtesy of sending a letter saying that someone else was chosen.
People end up wondering what it was they did wrong or what was wrong with their resume.
What ever happened to courtesy in the job hunting world!?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
No one truly understands
I live everyday in constant pain. Every inch of me hurts from sun up to sun down. People think they can understand but they don't. Sure they have aches and pains but those go away. Mine never does. I'm sick, I have an illness that can never be cured. Yes, it can be treated but the benefits of the meds don't out weigh their negatives. I'd rather live in pain everyday of my life then live in a drugged haze like most doctors would want me to.
But no one likes to hear that I'm ill. It's about their lives and their aches and pains. It's about their desire to pretend that there is nothing wrong with anyone else. No one likes to hear that someone they care about is sick, especially when they don't appear to be ill. Not all illnesses give off an outward symptom. I was born with Fibromyalgia. I will die with it as well. My nerves are fried and can never turn off. People don't want to have to acknowledge that a person who can smile, laugh, pull 32 hour work weeks, and go to school full time, could possible be ill and not receive treatment.
I tried getting treatment. I've had the disease for so long my body can't handle the meds. I was on them, I spent one year on them and most of the time was a zombie. Because of my illness my memory is shot, I have to write a lot of things down most people would be able to remember with one try.
This illness makes me depressed, it comes and it goes and for once I wish someone would truly understand.... but no one truly understands
But no one likes to hear that I'm ill. It's about their lives and their aches and pains. It's about their desire to pretend that there is nothing wrong with anyone else. No one likes to hear that someone they care about is sick, especially when they don't appear to be ill. Not all illnesses give off an outward symptom. I was born with Fibromyalgia. I will die with it as well. My nerves are fried and can never turn off. People don't want to have to acknowledge that a person who can smile, laugh, pull 32 hour work weeks, and go to school full time, could possible be ill and not receive treatment.
I tried getting treatment. I've had the disease for so long my body can't handle the meds. I was on them, I spent one year on them and most of the time was a zombie. Because of my illness my memory is shot, I have to write a lot of things down most people would be able to remember with one try.
This illness makes me depressed, it comes and it goes and for once I wish someone would truly understand.... but no one truly understands
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Need to Vent
I know people generally use their blogs to rant and vent and I try to avoid this as much as possible. I use this blog mostly to talk about my life and the exploration there in.
That being said, I do occasionally feel the need to vent and rant and make my feelings known. As I live in an interesting world. Ranting to the people who have caused the issue would only make the issues worse. Especially when the rant and anger feelings are directed towards my boyfriend's roommates and their childish fear and paranoia. The boyfriend and I finally got a date for once where we didn't have his roomies tagging along or inviting themselves. This was blown to kingdom come while we were watching Prometheus in theater, an awesome movie by the by, when one of the roomies decided to call and whine at him because he forgot to lock a bolt in the door!
This angered me because they know perfectly well, if someone wanted to rob the house, a single bolt isn't going to stop them! These two LITTLE CHILDISH BOYS lock the house up like a freaking prison all day long. They get pissy if the door is unlocked for longer then it takes to walk into the house. They throw these freaked out temper tantrums when the BF or I cook and we open the door and sliding glass door to let things cool out naturally while we cook rather then raise the electric bill by using the AC. One of them even had the gall to lock the house up with the BF and I sitting in the rooms with said doors so we could watch them! He comes out every two hours! I swear! Just to unlock the front door, check the locks on the security door and re-lock the front door! He even takes the stick out of the sliding glass door to open and re-lock the sliding glass door!!!!!! The level of angry I have reached with this is impossible to describe!
Alright, venting done. Going to do something that makes me happy whilst I growl at the little boys my manly adult boyfriend is stuck with for roomies and sadly for friends.
That being said, I do occasionally feel the need to vent and rant and make my feelings known. As I live in an interesting world. Ranting to the people who have caused the issue would only make the issues worse. Especially when the rant and anger feelings are directed towards my boyfriend's roommates and their childish fear and paranoia. The boyfriend and I finally got a date for once where we didn't have his roomies tagging along or inviting themselves. This was blown to kingdom come while we were watching Prometheus in theater, an awesome movie by the by, when one of the roomies decided to call and whine at him because he forgot to lock a bolt in the door!
This angered me because they know perfectly well, if someone wanted to rob the house, a single bolt isn't going to stop them! These two LITTLE CHILDISH BOYS lock the house up like a freaking prison all day long. They get pissy if the door is unlocked for longer then it takes to walk into the house. They throw these freaked out temper tantrums when the BF or I cook and we open the door and sliding glass door to let things cool out naturally while we cook rather then raise the electric bill by using the AC. One of them even had the gall to lock the house up with the BF and I sitting in the rooms with said doors so we could watch them! He comes out every two hours! I swear! Just to unlock the front door, check the locks on the security door and re-lock the front door! He even takes the stick out of the sliding glass door to open and re-lock the sliding glass door!!!!!! The level of angry I have reached with this is impossible to describe!
Alright, venting done. Going to do something that makes me happy whilst I growl at the little boys my manly adult boyfriend is stuck with for roomies and sadly for friends.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
It's funny
I know I haven't written about my feelings in a while, but it seems things are coming to a head again... I find it funny that the friends I've made for games on Facebook are better friends then the ones I have in real life at times. My boy had to cancel on me twice in one day and it left me pretty depressed and that led me to notice that my "real life friends" aren't even friends anymore, the only time they seem to communicate with me is when they want something for their Facebook games... I mean really that's it. They never text or call, or even IM me when they see me on. A supposed "friend" only wants to hang out when he wants something I'm not willing to give and it's been steadily ticking me off to no end. I'm sorta projecting on the poor man and it made me vent to a friend the wrong words and feelings. I mean the insecure part of me does feel that maybe he's not as into me as I thought he was, but all he did was get real busy this week... He did promise that next Sat would be our day. Have I let my emotions get far too involved already? Could he just be using me to get a lot of attention? Am I reading too far into all this?
This is what goes round and round in my head when he doesn't respond to my texts or rushes off of our phone calls and says he'll text me later or call back but doesn't and I have to get his attention again... I did tell him I wanted to take this super slow, but it seems my subconscious is wanting to rush things and I'm not sure what to do about it. I fear talking to him to about these things because I don't want to drive him away.
But back to the friends. It really sucks that when I was at MJC, they always wanted to talk and do things, but then again most of them don't have cars and I tended to play chauffeur just to get their attention... I think that shows just what they thought of me if now that I'm not there to do those things, they don't talk to me anymore... I'm thinking I need to just delete them and get it over with. I mean it's not like they notice what I post anyway. It's the craziest thing that my getting dumped by my ex showed me just who my real friends are. And sadly that's not many. It seems the rumors a certain ex-friend are now spreading have set root and people are more apt to believe her then to look at the person they have been friends with for years. It also goes to show how intelligent they really are. People who will believe rumors over the person they know really don't have intelligence no matter what their grades, articulation, and conversational abilities are and that truly saddens me because it means the future of this nation (The US) and the world in general is pretty much screwed royally due to this being the people who are going to run it in a few years.
This is what goes round and round in my head when he doesn't respond to my texts or rushes off of our phone calls and says he'll text me later or call back but doesn't and I have to get his attention again... I did tell him I wanted to take this super slow, but it seems my subconscious is wanting to rush things and I'm not sure what to do about it. I fear talking to him to about these things because I don't want to drive him away.
But back to the friends. It really sucks that when I was at MJC, they always wanted to talk and do things, but then again most of them don't have cars and I tended to play chauffeur just to get their attention... I think that shows just what they thought of me if now that I'm not there to do those things, they don't talk to me anymore... I'm thinking I need to just delete them and get it over with. I mean it's not like they notice what I post anyway. It's the craziest thing that my getting dumped by my ex showed me just who my real friends are. And sadly that's not many. It seems the rumors a certain ex-friend are now spreading have set root and people are more apt to believe her then to look at the person they have been friends with for years. It also goes to show how intelligent they really are. People who will believe rumors over the person they know really don't have intelligence no matter what their grades, articulation, and conversational abilities are and that truly saddens me because it means the future of this nation (The US) and the world in general is pretty much screwed royally due to this being the people who are going to run it in a few years.
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