It's funny

I know I haven't written about my feelings in a while, but it seems things are coming to a head again... I find it funny that the friends I've made for games on Facebook are better friends then the ones I have in real life at times. My boy had to cancel on me twice in one day and it left me pretty depressed and that led me to notice that my "real life friends" aren't even friends anymore, the only time they seem to communicate with me is when they want something for their Facebook games... I mean really that's it. They never text or call, or even IM me when they see me on. A supposed "friend" only wants to hang out when he wants something I'm not willing to give and it's been steadily ticking me off to no end. I'm sorta projecting on the poor man and it made me vent to a friend the wrong words and feelings. I mean the insecure part of me does feel that maybe he's not as into me as I thought he was, but all he did was get real busy this week... He did promise that next Sat would be our day. Have I let my emotions get far too involved already? Could he just be using me to get a lot of attention? Am I reading too far into all this?

This is what goes round and round in my head when he doesn't respond to my texts or rushes off of our phone calls and says he'll text me later or call back but doesn't and I have to get his attention again... I did tell him I wanted to take this super slow, but it seems my subconscious is wanting to rush things and I'm not sure what to do about it. I fear talking to him to about these things because I don't want to drive him away.

But back to the friends. It really sucks that when I was at MJC, they always wanted to talk and do things, but then again most of them don't have cars and I tended to play chauffeur just to get their attention... I think that shows just what they thought of me if now that I'm not there to do those things, they don't talk to me anymore... I'm thinking I need to just delete them and get it over with. I mean it's not like they notice what I post anyway. It's the craziest thing that my getting dumped by my ex showed me just who my real friends are. And sadly that's not many. It seems the rumors a certain ex-friend are now spreading have set root and people are more apt to believe her then to look at the person they have been friends with for years. It also goes to show how intelligent they really are. People who will believe rumors over the person they know really don't have intelligence no matter what their grades, articulation, and conversational abilities are and that truly saddens me because it means the future of this nation (The US) and the world in general is pretty much screwed royally due to this being the people who are going to run it in a few years.