So this week has been more uncomfortable then others. I've had to read chapters in class about things that brought back horrid memories, get my last wisdom tooth pulled, and trying this whole dating thing and realizing I'm not so great at it. In fact, I'm quite terrified of it to be honest. I don't want to get hurt again, nor do I want to be alone forever. I'm pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place with this one. Trying to balance not losing my heart to quickly with this young man I'm talking with along with school, work, and friends hasn't made getting over my fright of being hurt any easier. The church doesn't want me in therapy anymore. They say if I still need it, I can use the therapists at school unless I start to get worse... again. I don't plan on back tracking. I've worked hard to get my eating disorder under control. And I don't plan on letting it get that bad again. My health is finally getting better even with the scare on my liver.
I'm finally getting down to the weight that I want to be, though the DR wants me to get down to 119 pounds. I just want a flat tummy and I'll be happy. For me it's not about begin a certain size, it's about having the figure I want and that figure happens to have a flat tummy and maybe still be full sized.
Idk, I think I'm way to tired to keep thinking this in-depth. I'm off to sleep for the night or at least relax with some Highlander.
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