Took a break from posting as I needed to recenter. It's been a hot minute thanks to life and generally having my shelf finally shatter from all the falsity being piled on it. I walked away from the church the day I was told it was better to be homeless than to move in with my fiance and his mother.
That was the day I decided fuck this, I'm living my life. But that's not good for the church. It's very very bad as any member who leaves is not only cash lost, but someone who has insider info that can make the church look bad.
So now they are stalking me.... Lovely.
Showing posts with label job hunting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job hunting. Show all posts
Friday, December 15, 2017
Thursday, July 30, 2015
I am getting too old for this
My job is really trying. I work with autistic kiddos and help them learn how to interact with the world in a way we deem acceptable. Such as asking for things and understanding that they can't scream and throw a fit when they are told no.
This is a trying thing to do as many of these kiddos don't grasp that they can still be told no, even if they ask nicely. They don't get that the person still has the right to say no. For them they only understand that saying please gets their way and when it doesn't, the world doesn't quite make sense.
I can handle my job. I can handle these kiddos. What I can't handle is a company that is not on the ball when it comes to assigning cases. I have been out of work for nearly three weeks now. My last client pulled services because of HQ's behavior in the middle of July. I was promised a new client by the time the second pay period began. That pay period has come and gone. In that space they tried to force a client that would cause me to have to drive over 300 miles a week for less than 12 hours a week worth of work. I stood my ground and drew the line. Then with out notification, I had two clients dropped on me in my area that I can make easily and they total 12 hours a week for pay. I technically make more on Unemployment than I would be making for this company. I find it highly suspect that these clients magically get assigned to me when just last Friday they swore they didn't have any clients in town and yet there are job postings of a need for more people in my town to do the job I'm doing from the exact same company.
This bugs me because it shows a lack of professionalism. If there aren't clients in the town you are hiring from, don't post the job like there is work in the town. Make it clear that people will driving upwards of 100 miles a week for pay that's less than most people get while working at McDonald's. The part that freaks me out the most is that I was part of a hiring pool of 13 people in April and there are only 2 of us left. That means that this company has fired or forced 11 people to quit in less than 6 months. That is a turn over rate that my mind just can't calculate. It makes me wonder just how well this company has been put together and how in the bloody hell it's survived this long.
This is a trying thing to do as many of these kiddos don't grasp that they can still be told no, even if they ask nicely. They don't get that the person still has the right to say no. For them they only understand that saying please gets their way and when it doesn't, the world doesn't quite make sense.
I can handle my job. I can handle these kiddos. What I can't handle is a company that is not on the ball when it comes to assigning cases. I have been out of work for nearly three weeks now. My last client pulled services because of HQ's behavior in the middle of July. I was promised a new client by the time the second pay period began. That pay period has come and gone. In that space they tried to force a client that would cause me to have to drive over 300 miles a week for less than 12 hours a week worth of work. I stood my ground and drew the line. Then with out notification, I had two clients dropped on me in my area that I can make easily and they total 12 hours a week for pay. I technically make more on Unemployment than I would be making for this company. I find it highly suspect that these clients magically get assigned to me when just last Friday they swore they didn't have any clients in town and yet there are job postings of a need for more people in my town to do the job I'm doing from the exact same company.
This bugs me because it shows a lack of professionalism. If there aren't clients in the town you are hiring from, don't post the job like there is work in the town. Make it clear that people will driving upwards of 100 miles a week for pay that's less than most people get while working at McDonald's. The part that freaks me out the most is that I was part of a hiring pool of 13 people in April and there are only 2 of us left. That means that this company has fired or forced 11 people to quit in less than 6 months. That is a turn over rate that my mind just can't calculate. It makes me wonder just how well this company has been put together and how in the bloody hell it's survived this long.
Monday, May 19, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
Struggling
I don't post often, not like I use to at least. A lot of that has to do with the fact I am in Law School and don't have much in the way of time to do as such. Some of it also has to do with the fact that I suffer depression and lately it's been getting worse.
I don't just have depression. I have a depression that never wants to go away once it begins. I lose the will to do anything, even shower and I am a neat freak. I've tried medications, but they don't seem to help like it says they will. I always feel like I'm walking though a haze, a fog that just sits there and I can never seem to walk out of. Once I'm off the meds, the fog goes away but the depression and pain comes back with a vengeance.
People look at me and never seem to understand how I can say I have depression and still function. I have always been able to place a mask over my face that hides all that ails me. Most people don't even realize how bad I feel on the inside because on the outside I make it seem like I am fantastic.
The sad truth is, I'm not. I am miserable. Because of my depression, it never feels like my life is getting any better. Sure, I've got my B.A but I still don't have a job that lets me support myself. I have a car, but the poor thing is 17 years old and nearing 300k in mileage. I've gotten into law school, but because of the depression, I have no will to study and I am starting to fail... badly. Or at least I am in my head.
It just feels like I can never get my head above water. Nothing I do seems to make a difference in my life. I went to college to get a better job and I am still working retail, making barely enough to cover my gas and food. I can't even make rent with how crappy my hours are.
I know people out there have it worse then I do, but it seems like I never get a head. I'm always the one of my friends who has a goal is always reaching for it while those around me just have great things fall into their laps. A friend of mine moved out of state and he landed a job within three weeks of moving and can now afford his own place to live while I had to take out a credit card just to fix my car! Another friend is getting a promotion and buying her first house and she is three years younger then me and I'm turning 27 this year!
With law school, it's like a show off of all the people who are doing far better then I am. There is a woman who is going to law school after working as a paralegal for years and her husband is paying her tuition so she doesn't have to work or take out loans. There is a girl in class who is 21 for god sakes and she has a better job then me and has bought her own car!
I'm 27, never bought a car of my own that wasn't a tow yard rescue, never had a job that paid a living wage, never even lived on my own. It's like life has left me in the gutter to drown and I'm too stupid to realize!
Everyone around me seems like their lives are taking off while I'm just treading water to keep from drowning. I have had friends or at least people I thought were my friends put barely any effort into their lives and suddenly everything falls into place. I push and push and push and it feels like the world just shoves me down and gives me everyone else's sloppy seconds.
The bottom line is, I need help and I need hope and no one seems to want to give it. My fiancé can't, his life is no better then mine these days and my family can't as they are barely making it themselves. I am alone and drowning in this life and no one wants or cares to try to save me.
I don't just have depression. I have a depression that never wants to go away once it begins. I lose the will to do anything, even shower and I am a neat freak. I've tried medications, but they don't seem to help like it says they will. I always feel like I'm walking though a haze, a fog that just sits there and I can never seem to walk out of. Once I'm off the meds, the fog goes away but the depression and pain comes back with a vengeance.
People look at me and never seem to understand how I can say I have depression and still function. I have always been able to place a mask over my face that hides all that ails me. Most people don't even realize how bad I feel on the inside because on the outside I make it seem like I am fantastic.
The sad truth is, I'm not. I am miserable. Because of my depression, it never feels like my life is getting any better. Sure, I've got my B.A but I still don't have a job that lets me support myself. I have a car, but the poor thing is 17 years old and nearing 300k in mileage. I've gotten into law school, but because of the depression, I have no will to study and I am starting to fail... badly. Or at least I am in my head.
It just feels like I can never get my head above water. Nothing I do seems to make a difference in my life. I went to college to get a better job and I am still working retail, making barely enough to cover my gas and food. I can't even make rent with how crappy my hours are.
I know people out there have it worse then I do, but it seems like I never get a head. I'm always the one of my friends who has a goal is always reaching for it while those around me just have great things fall into their laps. A friend of mine moved out of state and he landed a job within three weeks of moving and can now afford his own place to live while I had to take out a credit card just to fix my car! Another friend is getting a promotion and buying her first house and she is three years younger then me and I'm turning 27 this year!
With law school, it's like a show off of all the people who are doing far better then I am. There is a woman who is going to law school after working as a paralegal for years and her husband is paying her tuition so she doesn't have to work or take out loans. There is a girl in class who is 21 for god sakes and she has a better job then me and has bought her own car!
I'm 27, never bought a car of my own that wasn't a tow yard rescue, never had a job that paid a living wage, never even lived on my own. It's like life has left me in the gutter to drown and I'm too stupid to realize!
Everyone around me seems like their lives are taking off while I'm just treading water to keep from drowning. I have had friends or at least people I thought were my friends put barely any effort into their lives and suddenly everything falls into place. I push and push and push and it feels like the world just shoves me down and gives me everyone else's sloppy seconds.
The bottom line is, I need help and I need hope and no one seems to want to give it. My fiancé can't, his life is no better then mine these days and my family can't as they are barely making it themselves. I am alone and drowning in this life and no one wants or cares to try to save me.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Depressed
It's hard to see others succeed when you work so hard and see such little result for all the effort. I sit and watch those around me do very well and yet my life seems to sit stagnant and without change. I have struggled for so long in life and fought tooth and nail for all I have and yet all around me I see people who work half as hard and they get all they want in life and then some.
People constantly say life isn't fair, but how is it that hard work and effort can be so over looked while, bare minimum gets rewarded with grander and praise?
I have asked this of myself many times when I see those around me being rewarded greatly for little to no work and simply out of sympathy.
I have even attempted to count my blessings so to speak and it always makes me feel worse then when it all began.
Counting ones blessings only works if one has great blessings to count. Oh sure, there are the standard ones, living, breathing, having a home and a car. But those blessings are squashed when the person counting realizes that they only have a home to live in because someone is willing to rent a room to them and that the car they are supposedly blessed to have constantly needs work or has a leak that has to be watched. Life isn't worth living if one always has to solve problem after problem and wonder constantly when the rug is going to pulled out from under them.
Being told to count ones blessings by someone who has blessings in life they didn't have to work for is a slap in the face. It's like rubbing salt into a wound that can never ever close.
The LDS church is always out to convert the poor but appears to do very little to really lift the poor up. Having people who have money constantly remind others that they need to look and act a certain way to fit in doesn't help solve the problem. If a church is going to convert the poor and then expect them to magically be able to dress and act like them without help, then they are in the wrong business.
Growing up poor in the church, especially in ones teens is a cruel thing. You see the teens around you in nice clothes, aways able to have the nice things, parents buying them cars, parents getting them jobs and letting them live with them through college rent free. This creates a selfish culture that doesn't help the poorer members want to stay. When a poor child grows up watching the "better" children get all the things that they want with very little nay-say, it creates a feeling of being something "less" and that feeling gets further reenforced when the "Better" children grow and get everything for free as well.
Being a poor young adult in the church isn't any better. It's a stark reminder of how "less" a poor convert is when the "better" born in members talk about how cool it is they get to live at home while going to college and always talking about trips while the "Lesser" poor member has to work through college and pay all their own bills and constantly get left out because of such duties. The "better" members have connected parents who can get them the good jobs easily and this leaves the "lesser" poor members to flounder and be excluded.
People constantly say life isn't fair, but how is it that hard work and effort can be so over looked while, bare minimum gets rewarded with grander and praise?
I have asked this of myself many times when I see those around me being rewarded greatly for little to no work and simply out of sympathy.
I have even attempted to count my blessings so to speak and it always makes me feel worse then when it all began.
Counting ones blessings only works if one has great blessings to count. Oh sure, there are the standard ones, living, breathing, having a home and a car. But those blessings are squashed when the person counting realizes that they only have a home to live in because someone is willing to rent a room to them and that the car they are supposedly blessed to have constantly needs work or has a leak that has to be watched. Life isn't worth living if one always has to solve problem after problem and wonder constantly when the rug is going to pulled out from under them.
Being told to count ones blessings by someone who has blessings in life they didn't have to work for is a slap in the face. It's like rubbing salt into a wound that can never ever close.
The LDS church is always out to convert the poor but appears to do very little to really lift the poor up. Having people who have money constantly remind others that they need to look and act a certain way to fit in doesn't help solve the problem. If a church is going to convert the poor and then expect them to magically be able to dress and act like them without help, then they are in the wrong business.
Growing up poor in the church, especially in ones teens is a cruel thing. You see the teens around you in nice clothes, aways able to have the nice things, parents buying them cars, parents getting them jobs and letting them live with them through college rent free. This creates a selfish culture that doesn't help the poorer members want to stay. When a poor child grows up watching the "better" children get all the things that they want with very little nay-say, it creates a feeling of being something "less" and that feeling gets further reenforced when the "Better" children grow and get everything for free as well.
Being a poor young adult in the church isn't any better. It's a stark reminder of how "less" a poor convert is when the "better" born in members talk about how cool it is they get to live at home while going to college and always talking about trips while the "Lesser" poor member has to work through college and pay all their own bills and constantly get left out because of such duties. The "better" members have connected parents who can get them the good jobs easily and this leaves the "lesser" poor members to flounder and be excluded.
When you grow up like this photo above, always wondering if you have enough to cover everything necessary while struggling so hard for the basics to live, it hurts to have to see the photos below week after week after week.
The church does nothing to help the least of it's members with out requiring something in exchange, even if it interferes with their current job. The church doesn't actually help the member in need to find a better job through networking, they just set up a standard job hunting website like everyone else.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Rant Time
So how is that a college graduate with a decent GPA and awesome letters of recommendations can't get a job?!
Particularly when the posting says very few people have applied for said position. Most of these companies cannot even give people the courtesy of sending a letter saying that someone else was chosen.
People end up wondering what it was they did wrong or what was wrong with their resume.
What ever happened to courtesy in the job hunting world!?
Particularly when the posting says very few people have applied for said position. Most of these companies cannot even give people the courtesy of sending a letter saying that someone else was chosen.
People end up wondering what it was they did wrong or what was wrong with their resume.
What ever happened to courtesy in the job hunting world!?
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