From the lips of babes

http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a45719/gay-mormon-community/

No one truly understands

I live everyday in constant pain. Every inch of me hurts from sun up to sun down. People think they can understand but they don't. Sure they have aches and pains but those go away. Mine never does. I'm sick, I have an illness that can never be cured. Yes, it can be treated but the benefits of the meds don't out weigh their negatives. I'd rather live in pain everyday of my life then live in a drugged haze like most doctors would want me to.

But no one likes to hear that I'm ill. It's about their lives and their aches and pains. It's about their desire to pretend that there is nothing wrong with anyone else. No one likes to hear that someone they care about is sick, especially when they don't appear to be ill. Not all illnesses give off an outward symptom. I was born with Fibromyalgia. I will die with it as well. My nerves are fried and can never turn off. People don't want to have to acknowledge that a person who can smile, laugh, pull 32 hour work weeks, and go to school full time, could possible be ill and not receive treatment.

I tried getting treatment. I've had the disease for so long my body can't handle the meds. I was on them, I spent one year on them and most of the time was a zombie. Because of my illness my memory is shot, I have to write a lot of things down most people would be able to remember with one try.

This illness makes me depressed, it comes and it goes and for once I wish someone would truly understand.... but no one truly understands

Just some thoughts...

Today gave me a good scare. I tend to go out to the local card shop every Friday as it's Friday Night Magic and I play that game as well as D&D and usual the night goes great, but tonight I got the crap scared out of me by the local street racers speeding through the parking lot. It was so bad I had to call the police and we couldn't leave for about a half hour. Every time either me or one of my friends would get near our cars, one of the street racers would start peeling out and one of them nearly hit my poor car and my friend's BMW. Now, I'm not rich and neither is he, he just got a great deal on the bloody car and decided to spring for it since he had the money. Needless to say once the cops showed up, the four of us fled while we could and while it was safe for us to do so. I drove all the way home white-knuckling it, because my nerves were so fried from the scare. I mean, all I did was walk near my car to put my MTG cards in the back seat and my gaming back in the front passenger seat and these guys leaped into their car and began to peel out and do doughnuts around the parking lot, keeping us from leaving and nearly plowing into my car, my friend's BMW and a parked Mustang.... I was terrified. I nearly cried and I'm not much of a person to cry really.

what scares me isn't that these people are doing this, it's that they think it's ok to do in a public area and where there are kids running around as there is an IN N OUT burger in that same parking lot. That's what scares me and the fact that they don't seem to care that there are other cars in this parking lot that aren't part of their little illegal group. I want to make this very very clear... DRAG RACING IN MODESTO CALIFORNIA IS A FELONY!!!!!!!!!!! These kids need to be arrested and put away for this crap! Their precious little cars need to be impounded permanently and sold to people who aren't drag racers or junked for parts! I'm sick of this crap happening and people getting hurt because these morons can't behave in normal society. Maybe if they were actually punished for this crap instead of just chased off it might stop in the area...


Ok my dear readers, I'm done for the night.