Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Marriage Rights: Voting For the Obvious





Marriage Rights: Voting For the Obvious





            Just this year, SCOTUS has had many a case brought before it that can be deemed controversial. Gay Marriage Rights was finally ruled upon in a case called Obergefell v. Hodges. This was tied to five other cases of similar style calling for the Court to decide if homosexuals had the right to marry in the eyes of the law. The Court ruled that marriage is a right for all consenting adults be they homosexual or heterosexual (576 U.S. ___). This has caused a backlash all over the country from people who think that such actions are illegal and in their opinions against "God's Laws".
            Obergefell v. Hodges was years in the making, it started with DeBoer v Snyder (576 U.S. ___). This was a Michigan case that was filled in  2012 due to the couple being black balled from sharing parenthood of their son because they weren't in a legally recognized marriage (772 F.3d 388). Deboer's case was focused on the state's adoption laws but was refocused towards the marriage law as that was the true thing holding the couple back (772 F.3d 388).  This worked and the couple went on to sue the state claiming that anti-gay marriage laws were against the United States Constitution(772 F.3d 388). This snow balled into 5 cases making the equivalent of a class action law suit against the Fed under the claim that anti gay marriage laws violated people's rights under the Constitution. Obergefell came a year after in 2013 when one half of a gay marriage died and the other half requested that he be placed on the death certificate as his husband and surviving spouse (576 U.S. ___).
            The five cases were combined under the title Obergefell v. Hodges (576 U.S. ___). The claim was that the laws in each state violated the claimants 14th Amendment rights to Due Process and Equal Protection (576 U.S. ___). The court agreed with the petitioners and ruled that the Fed and states must recognize and issue same sex marriage licenses or violate the inherent spirit of the 14th Amendment. SCOTUS has a heavy burden each year while they are in session to analyze each case presented carefully and weigh the cost of agreeing with the petitioner or tossing the case out for precedent (576 U.S. ___).
            Over the past couple of years cases have been brought before the Supreme Court that have systematically destroyed all legal argument for denying two consenting adults under the spirit and heart of the United States Constitution. Obergefell and the various petitioners have been given the same rights as those in heterosexual relationships (576 U.S. ___). The Constitution cannot be taken literally or else laws on marriage wouldn't be allowed in the first place as the lack of writing upon them would create a void in the government. The Constitution has to be taken in the spirit it was written instead.

            The 14th Amendment states: " Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." (Cornell University Law School). The spirit of the law in this passage is how cases such as "Brown v. Board of Education" those cases were looked at not in the letter of the 14th Amendment, but in the spirit of the Amendment it guarantees each child, regardless of ethnicity or gender, an education that is the same as everyone else. There is no logical reason that marriage rights shouldn't fall under the same thought process as education. Before this case was put before the Supreme Court, the law couldn't legally tell two heterosexual adults they couldn't get married because of the color of their skin, that was ruled unconstitutional years before, gender is no different. In this case I agree with the majority that to deny homosexual couples the same right that their heterosexual counter parts enjoy each day is turning our back on the keystone of social order that marriage is in our country. I also agree with the majority that the idea of same sex marriage harming the marriages of straight couples is ridiculous and that no lasting harm can happen to any current or future heterosexual marriage by allowing same sex couples to marry (576 U.S. ___).

            Marriage is a fundamental right promised in the Constitution by its promise of the right to freedom and happiness for every person in this nation. By denying gay couples because of a small group's ideal of moral propriety is to thumb our noses at the spirit that was engrained into the very parchment our founding fathers wrote it on. By denying a portion of our nation the same rights that a majority of the nation gets is turning our backs on the basis of our society that all men are equal.




Resources

Cornell University Law School. (n.d.). 14th Amendment. Retrieved September 19, 2015, from https://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/amendmentxiv

DeBoer v. Snyder, 772 F.3d 388 (6th Cir. 2014)


Obergefell v. Hodges 576 U.S. ___ (2015)

Monday, February 18, 2013

A piece of myself

A piece of myself.

When I got married, I had no idea what sex really was. Sure, I had read the romance novels. I knew it was gonna hurt to truly become a "woman". What I didn't expect was to find myself wanting more from the sexual side of my marriage.

That being said, my marriage wasn't great. It ended in a divorce since he couldn't keep his pecker in his pants nor could he not be verbally, mentally, and sexually abusive. I don't mean he did weird shit during sex. I mean he forced me into most of the time.

Before I was married I knew a bit about sex. Every girl reads romance novels, whether she wants to admit it or not. I read A LOT of them. I knew what happened in the bed room and let me tell ya, my ex refused to do anything. It was all about his pleasure since in his mind it was all about children. Even though I was in birth control.

Here's the kicker, in the church sex is barely talked about. In fact all we're told is it's between a man and a woman (Something I don't agree with. who you love is who you love LGBT rights are cool too.) and it's only good within the confines of marriage. They don't really explain anything after that. It's left to the couple to figure out what they like. I wanted to experiment once I was married. My ex did not. He was almost puritanical about it.

Needless to say I know I'm not into what is called "Vanilla Intimacy" I'm a bit of a person who is into the kink kind of lifestyle.

Wait, OMG the Mormon is talking about nonconventional sex! Everyone quick get all scared and self righteous!

Look, I never said I was a conventional Mormon. I'm a more free wheeling Mormon. I don't think that the world is as black and white as religion makes it.

But back to what I was saying. My marriage blew up. He decided he wanted greener pastures (see OLD WOMAN). I let him go but it really hurt my ego and my heart. I spent many months wondering what was so unattractive about me. But I moved on met a couple of lovers. None of which really helped. Sure they tried. One tried to pull the "I'm the Master and you're the Slave" crap on me. Don't get me wrong, that kind of life style is great but it's not for me.

I've discovered over some time and a bit of self reflection that I am more into the kink life style but not a polarized one. In this world I'm known as a switch. I am both Dominant and Submissive. Both Master and Slave. My ability to give over control is hard to get. It takes a lot of trust for me to give over control of any kind. Even when I do. I generally snatch it back fairly quickly by means of sarcasm.

I've debated on weither or not I would post this because of what I plan on doing with my life and what my religion states. But if I am going to fully overcome the scars by ex-husband and horrid ass ex-boyfriend have caused I am going to have speak about what I have gone through and what I have learned about myself.

I enjoy an intimate life with some D/s it. No, I don't like to be hit *rolls eyes*. No, I am not wanting to relive the abuse I went through as a child and as a wife. I simply enjoy certain things that most people find...strange.

My life is my own but I chose to share this as an act to therapy. I have trouble letting go of control. So much so that I don't even feel comfortable talking about losing control. So bear with me as I start to give more of myself. I love my new fiancé and its hard to give myself to him in any way. Affection is even hard due to fear of losing control...

More posts on this subject soon

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

School...

School has been well. Going to class everyday, only missed one class. I've had two or three cancelled so far. I will be mentoring a young girl for the rest of the semester starting on Tuesday. For my evidence class we are talking about notices and witnesses, which blends in well with my Crim Pro class since we are on eyewitness and line ups. My jury class is talking about witnesses and testimony as well, but my juvenile justice class isn't really talking about much. We don't even start talking about the significant criminal cases for kids until next week for pete's sake! >.<

Other then that, my life has been ok. School has been well, life has been well. The bf took me on a super awesome date. We went to a really high end restaurant and it was all his treat! I loved it! So can't wait for my b-day!!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Rambles.....

I don't know why but for some reason I feel like rambling. Maybe it's because I've had a head ache for a few days, or because I over did it on food today, or because I'm really tired and should crawl into bed, but don't want to. But I do know that I've had a though going through my head for a few days now, everyone gets asked at least once in their life if they could go back and change anything, would they? Well for me at this point, my answer is: No, I wouldn't change a thing. Every ounce of pain, every tear I have shed, every drop of sweat that has fallen from my brow has helped make me who I am today. It has helped shape my life, my heart, my mind, and my soul. I would never have learned how to stand for myself, voice what I want and take what I want when I have earned it. With out that pain and suffering, I never would have learned how to savor the sweet things in life and with out those sweet things I wouldn't have anything to look forward to or remember when painful, scary, or stressful situations arise.

I've also come to the rather scary conclusion that I do truly love my boyfriend and that I do want to marry him... The reason this scares me is simple really, I don't want to fall for someone so hard and that deeply that I can become seriously hurt. What got me to come to this conclusion you ask? Well, I had a visit with my visiting teacher and she asked if the BF and I had talked of marriage. Truth be told, yes, have. It's normal in a young couple is discuss such things and it shows that we are both looking to be adult about our lives and not just "Go with the flow". I do actually want to get married again, despite the emotional pain that my first marriage was and the nightmare it became towards the end. Part of what holds me back is the fear of becoming a burden on someone again. I don't want someone else to have to take care of me after I just discovered my ability to stand on my own two feet.

Rant done for now. I may come back to this post again and add more as the time is needed.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Changes...

My relationship took a turn last night. Not sure if it's for good or bad though. Last night he said those three words, the words that terrify me to death and back again. He didn't expect to hear the words back, and he let me cry and make it clear I couldn't say those words yet. To be honest, I do care for him, deeply. But I can't bare to think that I may love him, nor do I think I can ever say the words... My lack of trust is terrible and it's starting to get better, but not at a speed I think it should be. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him already and that alone has kept me up all night as I still feel that he is going to eventually decide the waiting for physical intimacy isn't worth it and that I am not worth it. I've told him such and he tells me every time that it's not going to happen but I can't help but wonder... During our talking last night he confessed he did try to date someone else, for a one night stand and it didn't even work. He couldn't even kiss the woman. He says I've ruined him for other women and that sort of makes me feel really really good about myself.

The sad thing is, I still can't kiss him like he does me. Kissing is a very erotic thing for me, it's a massive turn on and when I start to respond with even the slightest amount of intensity, I freak out and pull away. I know it saddens him even if he says it doesn't and that he has plenty of patience to wait for me. But it hurts my heart to know I'm to afraid to open up to him and be who and what he wants me to be. He's happy with me being who I am but he's sad that I can't be at peace with our relationship or at least that's what I've inferred.

Must think more about all this, must read my heart....


As always I would love to hear your thoughts and comments if you would like to leave them ^_^

Sunday, September 18, 2011

It's funny...

It's funny how life can change so quickly. My boy did indeed come down last night but it was much later then we thought it would be. I had gone into town to hang with a friend of mine at a local pub where she was going to wait for her BF to get off work at 2 AM. Out of the kindness of this man's heart he didn't have an issue with us staying until her BF got off work and then he took me out to a late dinner/ early breakfast. It was wonderful.

I spent all Sunday on cloud nine ^_^ And that cloud got even higher when I saw he had made a comment about last night on his Facebook! I was so stoked!!! We've texted each other a bit but he's working today so it's not easy to text at work, trust me, I know.

Church was great. We had such wonderful lessons and the Linger Longer was awesome Baked Potato for dinner! Great! I did get to listen to talk given by Elder Dallin H. Oaks about tolerance and what it means in the LDS church. For us, it's about not trying to be overly righteous to people who don't share out beliefs but still being able to stand up for what we believe when the time calls for it and that is a truly great thing to hear. Read his words here. I found them to be great and inspiring words. This man is a man of God and a truly faithful servant.